The Conversation You’re Avoiding is The One That Will Set You Free

The conversation you’re avoiding is one that will set you free.

You know the one.

The one you replay in your head. The one that makes your stomach tighten just thinking about it. The one where, if you just said what you really felt, everything could shift.

But you keep postponing it. Suppressing it. Convincing yourself, “It’s fine. I’ll let it go.”

What happens when you wait?

Unspoken agreements form.
Resentment builds.
Opportunities for connection and growth slip away.

We avoid these conversations for so many reasons:

We don’t want to hurt someone.
We fear rejection or conflict.
We tell ourselves it’s kinder to stay silent.

But here’s the thing: It’s not kind to hold back.

Why Avoidance Costs More Than You Realize

Holding onto the unspoken comes with a price:

Mental energy spent replaying scenarios.
Emotional tension in the relationship.
A loss of authenticity—for you and for them.

The worst-case scenario isn’t that they don’t agree or that the outcome isn’t what you hoped.

The worst case is not speaking your truth at all.

You rob both yourself and the other person of growth, clarity, and deeper connection.

How to Step Into the Conversation

Here’s what’s worked for me when I’ve faced these moments of truth:

1. Set a deadline (soon).
Pick a date. Now, move it up. If you can have this conversation in the next 72 hours, do it.

2. Clarify your intention.
What do you want from this?

Is it resolution?
An opportunity to grow the relationship?
A chance to give or receive feedback?
An apology?

Be honest with yourself.

3. Brain-dump your thoughts.
Grab a blank sheet of paper and write out everything you want to say—raw, unfiltered. This version is for your eyes only.

4. Shift perspectives.
Imagine sitting in their chair. What might they feel? What are they experiencing? What do they need?

Approach the conversation with compassion, curiosity, and accountability.

5. Start with accountability.
When you rewrite what you want to say, begin with owning your part.

“I’m sorry I’ve been holding this back.”

“I regret not addressing this sooner.”

Leading with your accountability disarms defensiveness and builds trust.

Love Over Fear

When you finally step into the conversation, you have two choices:

Lead with love.

or

Lead with fear.

Love looks like honesty, compassion, authenticity, and grace.

Fear shows up as defensiveness, judgment, or self-righteousness.

Choose love.

If you need a starting line, try this:

“What I know for sure is this…”

Fill in the rest with truth.

Why This Matters

The longer you avoid it, the bigger the tension grows. The sooner you lean in, the sooner you’ll both feel lighter. Liberation is always two-sided.

Think of this not as a “hard conversation” but as an expansive one.

An opportunity to grow yourself, your relationships, and your capacity to do brave things.

You are capable, and I believe in you.

Hit reply and let me know:

What conversation are you avoiding? I’d love to hear how this resonates.

Until next week,

Mandy

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